What’s the honor in this?
The recent “honor” killings in Pakistan horrify me.
As a mother, I cannot imagine witnessing the slayings of my girls by my own husband for any reason - including some warped view of honor. And I understand, from reading the article, that apparently the mother was scared of being killed herself. And this I don’t get either. Because, and, of course it’s easy for me to say as I sit in the comfort of my own home, the girls in bed, with no fears for my own safety or their own, I would like to think that if any harm were threatened to my girls, no matter where it came from, that I wouldn’t care about my own safety. I would do everything that I could to stop it - even if that meant putting my own life in jeopardy.
It’s easy to say what I would have done - because I didn’t grow up that way. But I do know what it’s like to live in fear, there are things that I have experienced and witnessed that have definitely shaped who I am today and how I raised my girls. And maybe, somewhere along the way in my blog, I’ll post about them. But for now, I’ll just say that I simply do not understand how a woman, any woman, of any religion, of any ethnicity, of any socio-economic status can witness the murders of her children and just stand there.
Yes, that’s harsh. And yes, it’s judgmental. And I stand by it.
As for the very idea of “honor” killings, the thing is, it is wrong and it is not, in any way, condoned by Islam - nor is any of this degradation of women generally. My brother-in-law is Muslim. He married an Egyptian woman who is Muslim - and her family is Muslim. They both now live in Jordan (a Muslim country) where they are raising their three children, two of which are girls. My sister-in-law is extremely well educated (Princeton) and both of her girls are in school - there is nothing in Islam, so far as I know, that demands that women stay home and remain uneducated. My brother-in-law does not beat his wife or his children. My sister-in-law does not wear a burka.
Why have we distorted religion to such a degree that we allow it to justify the mistreatment of others?
And this is not restricted to Islam. Or Buddhism. Or Catholicism. Or Mormonism. I am Southern Baptist originally (I now attend an Episcopal church) and my religion professor used to tell us about the women she ministered to at the battered women’s shelter, who were beaten by their husbands who quoted the book of Hosea as they did it. Nice.
I wish women all over the world were empowered enough to say that this sort of thing is not allowed - honor killings and beatings and female circumcision and other mistreatment. We owe it to our daughters to bring them up in an environment where they are safe and valued. I wish I knew how to make that happen.