lawmummy

Enough of this “math is hard” bullsh*t! My daughter rocks.

Tonight, Katie was working on her homework by herself. I asked Chris if he had reviewed it, he said no. So I picked it up to look it over.

I was pretty impressed. She’s managing rules (skipping by 2, subtracting by 3) in a pattern, as well as some basic telling time. The best bit, though, was the word problems. She hates word problems. But she got them all right. However, when faced with the challenge to “describe how you know the answer,” she answered, “Because I am smart.” I told her that she was right but made her change it anyway.

November 24th, 2008 | Tags: confidence, math | Category: School | Comments (1)

When I crossed the finish line of the Rothman 8k today, I wanted to do two things immediately: pee and cry.

I did neither.

Instead, I called my friends who supported me to tell them that I did it.

While on the phone with Madeline, I briefly panicked. I was really tired and saw that there were runners still making their way around the oval. Only, I didn’t go around the oval. Did I not cross the finish line? I hung up on Madeline and desperately grabbed my program booklet. *Relief.* I did finish. Those were the half-marathoners. It was all good. You could say that my head wasn’t quite on straight at that moment. I was simply too overwhelmed.

I was already intimidated. I had cried the day before when I picked up my bib at the expo. It was all so… much.

And then, at home last night, with the sniffles and the realization that I couldn’t get to the race easily via public transit (it doesn’t run that early on a Sunday), I thought about not going. Nobody would blame me. I was sick. It was a long race. I had never done it before. And I would be by myself.

But that wasn’t what was supposed to happen.

And it didn’t.

My friend, Kristin, offered to take me downtown. So at 6:15am, she was parked outside of my house, ready to go with a “Go, Kelly Go!” sign. I didn’t feel quite so ready. I told her about a zillion times that I was going to throw up. She said to just not do it in the car.

When we arrived, it was packed. And I don’t mean a little packed. I mean crazy packed. There had to be 75,000 on the Parkway at that hour. And when Kristin dropped me off, I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do. I could have zipped up my jacket and run away. But I didn’t. I soldiered on until I figured things out - where the gear drop off was, where the port-a-johns were (I have never waited in such a long line for restrooms) and finally, where my “corral” was.

While in line, I met a nice woman named Chanel. She had hoped to run the half marathon but it was full when she tried to register, so she was doing the 8k. It was nice to have a bit of a kindred spirit to ease my nerves.

The start was quite exciting. First, the marathoners shot off to the Rocky theme song. Next, the half marathoners. Finally, the 8kers set off.

It was cold. Bitter cold. I had opted against running with my fleece and my gloves, worried that I would have no place for them later (a smart option, I later decided, seeing many discarded pairs of gloves on the roadway). I chose instead for 3/4 length pants - it was awfully cold not to have long pants but since I’m so clumsy, I didn’t feel comfortable running in long pants - together with a long black undershirt and my 8k tee shirt. I threw on my daughter’s Eagles cap (thank goodness it fit) and, along with my two bracelets for luck (one is a pipe cleaner and plastic bead bracelet that my 4 year old made for me), I was ready. I was also freaking cold.

The first mile was just brutal. It was so cold that I could not feel my toes. I saw folks talking to each other as they ran and I felt very alone. But then I heard the roar of the crowd after we made the Circle and it propelled me forward.

Just under four miles later, I was struggling. I had stopped a couple of times on the return trip to get my breath - my cold was making it hard to breathe in the freezing weather - and I was a bit worried. Without my iPod (you’re not supposed to use them), I was unsure of my pace, though the clocks along the way seemed to indicate that I was on pace as normal. Prior to this race, I had never run 8k outside (only on the treadmill at the Y) and never without my iPod. I was missing my inspirational tunes.

As I neared the Art Museum, I was beat. And this gentleman by the road yelled, “Keep strong, only 200 meters left.” 200 meters? I could do that.

I picked up my pace and ran through the finish. I glanced up and saw that I had finished in less than an hour. 8k. Less than an hour. And that’s when I wanted to cry.

Running this race was so important to me on so many levels.

For one, I said that I was going to do it. And I want to teach my kids that you finish want you start.

And even though I knew there was no chance of my winning, I still wanted to do my best. I try to teach my kids how important that is. And maybe Katie has learned that lesson better than me. She told me the night before the race, “Mom, I hope you run your best. Just try the most.”

I’ve also been thinking a lot about how crucial it is to stay healthy for my kids. And not just the “not dying” variety of being healthy. But being able to do stuff with my kids. I don’t want to be that mom on the sidelines who can’t play with her kids. I’ve seen those moms - the ones who can barely fit behind the wheel of a car, the ones that can’t take a walk *at all* with their kids because they’re so out of shape, the ones that must park themselves on the bench at the park because they can’t stand for long periods of time, much less engage their kids - and I don’t want to be like that.

And finally, it was a lot about proving my own self worth. I had this feeling, no matter how silly it might sound out loud, that finishing this race meant that I was worth something. When you’re a mom, it is easy to get bogged down in believing that you don’t have a lot of worth. I know I’m never first anymore. My own parents didn’t even call me to wish me good luck for the race (nor did my brothers). I know everything is always about my kids. And on some level, I’m okay with that because I want people to adore and love my children. But sometimes, I want to feel important, too. I want to know for just a moment that I did something pretty cool. And today, when I crossed that finish line, I had that feeling. I was really proud of myself.

When I got back to the house, I checked my chip time. Your chip time is the time from the time you start the race by crossing the start line until the time you finish the race by crossing the finish line. It’s calculated by a chip that you wear on your shoe. The idea is that not everyone starts at the same time (since the crowd is so big) so your actual run time could be different than the time shown on the official clock. Mine was.

(Author’s note: the chip and clock times today on the site are different than those from yesterday, I’m not sure why. So, in the interest of making sure that I only say what’s true, I am taking the numbers down for now until it makes sense. It was still less than one hour.)

I can’t explain how proud I was to see those numbers. I had finished. I wasn’t last. I had done pretty well for a chubby girl in her first race.

It was a wonderful, wonderful feeling.

November 23rd, 2008 | Tags: Philadelphia marathon, Rothman 8k, running | Category: Fitness and Health | Comments (9)

It is 5:49am. It is 23 degrees outside.

In less than half an hour, I will be on my way to my “corral” to wait for the start of the Rothman 8k. I am terrified.

I had a slight breakdown yesterday at the Expo when I went to pick up my bib. It was all so overwhelming. Lots and lots of skinny people.

There are 18,000 people running the race. I worry that I will come in 18,000th.

I know that half of the struggle is just showing up. Trust me. I have a nasty cold, I’m running by myself and I feel very, very intimidated. Add to that a little tinge of sadness that my parents and brothers didn’t bother to give a quick call (*sigh*) but that is what it is.

With all of that, I’m going. I don’t know if I’ll even finish. I’ve never run competitively - ever never - and definitely not in this kind of weather.

This one’s for the fat girls!

November 23rd, 2008 | Tags: fat, Philadelphia marathon, Rothman 8k, running | Category: Fitness and Health | Leave a comment

Wonder what the cool kids are reading these days? I was sent a copy of Michelle Obama: Meet the First Lady in the post the other day. The reading level said 8-12 but I thought that Katie might still find it interesting. I was right.

Katie has been on a serious First Lady/Presidential streak lately. It started with her renewing her interest in our presidential trivia book. That resulted in questions about the assassinations of Kennedy and Lincoln (Amy was pretty interested, too) - and subsequently, a fascination with Jackie Kennedy. Amy already had an interest in Jackie because a friend had previously bought us a First Lady paper dolls book (I am not kidding). The stylish Ms. Kennedy made quite the impression on the girls.

To her credit, Katie knows more about politics than most adults. She knew who the sitting president was even before she had to do a quiz about it for Girl Scouts. This final election cycle, she reviewed the local paper and the Economist for election articles - all part of the work that she did to get her voting badge for Girl Scouts. She also made a “Vote for Katie” commercial, played a campaign game, made an election day poster encouraging people to vote and located 42 people who would agree to say that they would vote on Election Day. It’s all kind of up her alley.

Hmm… Future Congresswoman?

November 22nd, 2008 | Tags: David Bergen, Michelle Obama, Michelle Obama: Meet the First Lady | Category: Politics | Leave a comment

I’m looking for bloggers/companies who are willing to serve on a judging panel for a charitable drive I’m doing - those who participate will be asked to make a $25 donation to the charity that they choose. Details here - email me if you have interest.

If you aren’t up for judging, I’d still love for you to participate. Tell me which charity you think is most deserving this year.

November 22nd, 2008 | Tags: charitable organization, charity, taxgirl | Category: Charitable Orgs and Good People | Leave a comment

Remember my freaking out about Katie and gym class?

Well, we got some good news. Apparently, the gym teacher had been concerned about Katie but it wasn’t as bad as we thought. She had been very withdrawn and shy in the beginning - that’s our Kate! - and I guess not terribly participatory. Because of that, the teacher had to give her a poor mid-semester grade (C) but the teacher is confident that it is turning around.

(I know a lot of folks expressed dismay about the grading system so early. For what it’s worth, I think it’s a No Child Left Behind kind of thing. I think the teachers have to give letter grades in public schools now - even in gym.)

The silver lining in all of this is that we have been reminded how much we really do like our choice of public school. One of our major concerns going in was whether we would receive the same kind of quality feedback about Katie as we did at her private school. We certainly have. When we got the first comment, I sent an email to the gym teacher who tried to call me but got a busy signal. He emailed me back and then met with Katie’s classroom teacher before the start of the next school day. When Chris dropped Katie off at school, her teacher met him with more information. It was nicely reassuring.

I feel better about the grade. I worry a little for Katie. She has inherited some of that standoffishness from her father. I’ve noticed it in other things - her first ballet class, the first soccer lesson, parties, you name it. Chris feels it, too. So we’re working on it. One of the things we’re doing is trying to put her into more comfortable social situations. While she loves her art and her reading, those are solo activities. I want her to branch out and make new friends and feel confident in groups. She is a smart, funny, lovable little girl - she just needs to *get out there* and show it.

I think some of what is holding her back is insecurity. I think her size (she is smaller than most of her peers) compounds that a bit. Amy said that girls on the playground called Katie, “Kindergarten baby”, which Katie denies but I think Amy is telling the truth. I especially think it’s true since Katie really didn’t want to talk about it instead of her normal vehement disagreement.

So far, what’s worked best is Girl Scouts. She is in love with Girl Scouts. And it’s nice because it’s a group but a small group. And the kids are not the same as at school, so there’s a whole new audience. She also loves the patches that she earns. It’s a nice confidence booster for her.

I guess that means all is well. For now. You never know with kids…

November 22nd, 2008 | Tags: gym, physical education, School | Category: School | Comments (4)

Oy. What a week. It’s just after 10pm on Friday and Charlie literally just laid down to go to sleep. He’s normally pretty good about bedtime but bounded out of bed earlier tonight, saying that his room was “scary.” Poor boy. He’s had quite a week, I suspect his imagination is just getting the better of him.

He started out with a nasty illness. After some vomiting (in his own bed and ours, yeah, that nice) and a pretty severe fever (he was literally shaking uncontrollably underneath two quilts), I took him to the doctor. Diagnosis? An ear infection.

I know what you’re thinking: but he has tubes! How could you not have known?

It’s true that you’re supposed to see the “gunk” draining from the ears when a kid with tubes has an ear infection. Unless the tubes are clogged, that is. And yes, that’s the deal with Charlie. So he was put on antibiotics and some kind of drops meant to unclog the tubes. A few days later, I am happy to report that he’s feeling better.

Prior to the ear infection, Charlie got bitten on the arm at school. No big deal, no broken skin. But it was a big story. He loves showing off the band aid and saying, “Liam bit me.” It has become quite the show.

So I was not happy to learn this week that Charlie bit a little girl at school. I figured, for sure, that he was acting out based upon his bite. And then I heard that he bit the little girl on the nose. And it dawned on me that it was my fault… I asked the teacher, “Did he mention anything about being a tiger? Or roar before he bit her?” The teacher said not that she was aware of, but that it had happened very quickly. Charlie was standing right there and said, “Mommy, I a tiger!” And it made sense. Charlie and I have a game where he pretends to be a tiger and then bites me on the nose. Clearly, not the most responsible game. And there you go with the results.

So it’s been a rough week for the little guy. And it’s affected his sleep. Not only has he not been getting into bed when he should, he’s been getting up, complaining of nightmares. This morning, he was up at 5:30am, sobbing hysterically. When I asked him what was wrong, he cried, “A slug eating Charlie!” Science experiments at our house gone awry.

He hasn’t been eating well either. I’m sure it’s because he can’t smell and therefore, can’t taste. He was pretty excited tonight to find out that we’re having sticky buns for breakfast tomorrow - his eyes lit up and it was the one thing that convinced him to go to bed.

Finally, he’s asleep with the promise of a yummy breakfast tomorrow. Let’s cross our fingers for a good night’s sleep.

November 21st, 2008 | Tags: boys, ear infections, parenting, sleep | Category: Medical, Mummy | Leave a comment

Yesterday, Katie’s teacher advised us that she would be getting a “C” in gym. I have so many issues with this, I don’t even know where to begin…

First, I’ll just come right out and say it: I was a straight A kid and I am not sure that I can handle my kids not getting As. Yeah, be all judgmental if you want but it is what it is. Things came easily for me, academically speaking, and when they didn’t, I fixed it, even as a little kid.

I’ve always been chunky, for example. And when my 9th grade PE teacher said to my mom that I was too heavy, I basically said, “Scr*w you” (of course, not to his face). I worked harder than anyone and was the best volleyball player in my gym class (subsequently made the team). I climbed the damn rope, even though I was terrified. I ran as fast as I could, practiced basketball even though it was hopeless and basically did what I could to be the best in everything (I wasn’t). At the end of the year, I was still chunky. But I had an A.

And yes, I know everyone is different and folks learn at different rates, blah, blah, blah. I’ve taken a zillion ed courses (I was supposed to be a teacher, remember?) and I *get* it when it’s other people’s kids. But not mine.

So, with that, I asked Katie about gym. She promises that she has a good attitude. She says she thinks the exercise is hard but that she “always tries, tries again.” She told me that she runs really fast and gets in the hula hoop before other people during the races. And I think she was really sincere in all of this. Or at least her belief, at any rate.

That leaves the conversation with the gym teacher. Chris tried to track him down at school but couldn’t, so I sent him an email this morning. Now, we wait. And you know that I’m awful at waiting. I just want to fix things.

Sigh.

When does this parenting stuff get easier?

November 20th, 2008 | Tags: children, grades, gym, School | Category: Mummy, School | Comments (5)

I am cranky.

And I want to whine.

And I kind of thought that I was going to get the chance to do that tonight. I had a little red wine, some decent reality TV (it is, after all, Top Chef night!) and finally had the kids in bed. Laundry was put away. Laptop was down.

And what happened?

Nothing.

I was tired, Chris was tired (and on the computer) and we didn’t talk. We just kind of mindlessly watched TV.

At some point, I made a half-hearted effort to talk about this thing that was on my mind (more or less, my family and Thanksgiving) and Chris wasn’t really paying attention. Maybe, on some other night, I wouldn’t have cared. I probably would’ve kept talking anyway and put it straight in my own head just for saying it out loud. But that’s not what happened.

I can see how, after 20 years of having kids, you really do grow apart as a couple. Children are plain exhausting. Attempting to have some kind of life outside of that takes effort - and at some point, there’s just no energy to keep making that effort.

This isn’t a dour sounding commentary on my relationship. Things are fine. It’s just really me talking about being very tired and looking down the road a bit.

Did I mention the tired bit?

November 20th, 2008 | Tags: motherhood, Thanksgiving, wine | Category: Holidays, Me | Leave a comment