One of THOSE parents
I am trying not to be one of THOSE parents. You know, the crazy kind that freak out about everything.
And I got Katie’s report card today.
Now, you have to understand this about me. I was a straight A student. And not a borderline A student. A top A student. Some of it was because I worked hard. Some of it was because I had some natural talent. And some of it was because of my father.
If I got a 93 on my report card, my dad always said, “Where are the other 7 points?”
He was a perfectionist and he wanted me to be perfect.
Maybe that explains some of my issues.
The thing is, the pressure worked. It did make me a better student. And I did become the first person in my family to graduate from college. And I did go to law school. Blah, blah, blah.
So, there’s something to be said about wanting your children to do their very best. Sometimes, it pays off.
But I don’t want to be one of those moms who freaks out about every little thing - especially when it’s not really that important.
Which brings me back to Katie’s report card. She is in Kindergarten. Her report card will not affect her college admissions. And yet, I still read it just about as defensively as a parent could do.
Two things that stood out?
1, Katie doesn’t know her phone number - neither do I. Or Chris. We have a land line but we don’t know the number because we never use it. The phone is really just for 9-1-1. We do have 2 cell phones but that’s a lot for a kindergartener to remember.
2, Katie doesn’t know her birthday. This one is tricky. Her birthday is in June (she knows that part). It is only 2 weeks away from her sister’s birthday. We do not make a big deal about either date because we celebrate them together - one party. We never focused on the dates. In fact, as I am typing this, I just asked Amy when her birthday is and she yelled, “JUNE!” That’s all that they know.
It’s not a learning flaw.
And the crazy perfectionist mom in me wanted to call the teacher and explain. But I didn’t.
I am trying to be more Zen. And just understanding that their lives will not be shattered by the little things like a report card that goes on her permanent record that states that she doesn’t know her phone number.
(breathe out - be Zen, be Zen)
Gosh, it’s hard.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
My Pre-school report card was a check list, with options of something like: can, almost can, cannot. I got all “cans” except for galloping. It was so bad they felt to put a note and it has haunted me to this day …
“cannot gallop and refuses to try”
Of course I don’t want to try!! I can’t freakin’ do it and you are just going to tell my parents that I couldn’t do it, and I’ll be embarrassed in front of the class!
February 28th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
That’s so hysterical.
And somehow, explain so much.
February 28th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
My niece (3) has limited scissor skills according to her teachers at preschool. Little Miss S does not engage in pretend play, apparently, which is just hilarious given the amount of ‘birthday cake’ I eat every single night.
Meh - don’t worry about it is right. Teachers are compelled to give an area for work, for each child. When it gets down to knowledge of ticky-tack things, then I don’t know what you’re supposed to do. Again, Kelly, it’s back to the perfection - babies aren’t perfect, either, nor should they be. They should, well, be kids, and for quite a time, scissor skills be damned!
February 29th, 2008 at 5:33 am
She is doing better than I did. For several years, I entertained everyone by telling them my birthday was in Autumn/Fall. She at least knows the month.
February 29th, 2008 at 6:02 am
Don’t worry. Just laugh. My son was the LAST in diapers in nursery school and the last to walk. His elementary school report cards always had comments on his inability to skip or tie his shoes (we used velcro). He is now a 15 year old honors student who can walk, skip, tie his shoes and go to the bathroom on his own.
February 29th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Sounds fine to me. I was so blankety-blank precocious as a child that by age five, I decided that my parents were unacceptable. Yes, it was very hard going for them after that.
What happened is that I realized my name is my older sister’s name spelled backward without the C. They had no clue.
I am now a recovering perfectionist as is my daughter. Breathe in/Breathe out…
March 2nd, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Boy, do I hear you. I dread parent/teacher conference day because I feel like I am constantly defending him (”But he’s such a sweet boy. Really, he’s so smart and loving!”) Ugh… You remind me that Pumpkinhead still doesn’t know our phone number either. I think maybe we should just strap a kiddy cell phone to his belt and call it a day.