Is it just me or being frugal the new trend? As in the annoying new trend?
And like most trends, I am fairly confident that it will fade. As soon as the economy heats back up, well heeled women everywhere will toss their coupon books aside and go back to spending with abandon. That’s exactly why it’s driving me crazy.
You see, I come from frugal roots. My parents worked hard to make ends meet; my dad started out raising a family of five on minimum wage. We learned the value of hard work and earning a dollar at a young age. I grew up with a mom who brought an extensive coupon collection to the grocery store, together with a sale paper and a calculator. My mom canned vegetables and “put up” fruits and preserves. We did our own crabbing and oystering at the coast. We never bought anything that wasn’t on sale.
I carried this way of spending with me to college and grad school. I paid my own way through college with work and scholarships; my parents gave me $30/month spending money. In grad school, I worked constantly, sometimes three jobs at once – and all while going to classes and yes, studying for the bar – to pay my rent.
My husband, though he comes from a different financial position than me, is probably even more frugal than me. He hates to throw away anything (we have a basement full of crap that confirms this sickness). We’ve never bought anything just to be buying it. And when we did buy, we were, well, cheap. In fact, neither one of us had ever owned a new car until nearly five years after graduation when our 13 year old used Bronco II had finally given up the ghost (with more than 200,000 miles on it). Then, we “splurged” on a new stripped down Saturn sedan.
I say this not to pat ourselves on the back (cause it’s certainly not pat worthy) but more to illustrate that I *get* frugality. I’ve done it. I still do it – on my own terms. I do understand the value in it.
But here’s the thing. I don’t feel like being frugal every minute of the day anymore. We’ve made choices, like buying cheaper cars and choosing affordable housing, that have allowed us to do the things that we enjoy – like eating out and traveling. I don’t have a giant mortgage payment. And I don’t make expensive car payments (just one payment, for a very sensible Subaru Forester). I’m not a clothes horse – in fact, I’ve paid full price for exactly one item of clothing for myself in the last year. It was a Jones NY skirt at Macy’s. I love it. And I nearly broke into hives paying for it. But I wanted it. And I deserved it.
So yes, spending wisely and working hard means that I have a few dollars in my pocket from time to time. And I do spend it on things that some people consider frivolous: babysitting (Chris and I have a standing date night now), going out and as of last month, a twice monthly cleaning service.
I’m actually annoyed that I feel so defensive about these things. But I do. I feel defensive because I feel like I’m being judged for not embracing this newfound outwardly conspicuous frugality. Cause let’s face it: frugality wouldn’t be quite so cool if folks couldn’t brag about it.
But really, I just don’t care how frugal you are. I don’t want to hear how you saved money by hitting four different grocery stores last week – frankly, I don’t have the time or inclination to go to that many different stores. I’m not impressed that you bought new kids’ clothes at (fill in the Ross/TJ Maxx/bargain hunting store of your choice here) – while I don’t go to Lily Pulitzer for my kids’ clothes, I also find no joy in spending time plowing through clearance racks. And your half price burger at McDonald’s holds no appeal for me – I actually find most fast food places overpriced (and a little gross) to begin with.
That doesn’t mean that I begrudge anyone saving money. I just don’t want to hear about it. Especially now. You know, now that it’s trendy. Cause these same folks haven’t always been so trendy. In the years that I skimped just to get by, they were buying out Bloomingdales. And to be honest, I have a hard time with friends who have closets stocked like Paris Hilton explaining to me how I can get a better deal on canned beans at the Shop Rite than the Acme. And for the love of God, I don’t want to hear the critique of my full price tee ball mitt at Dick’s (yes, I understand that they’re cheaper elsewhere) while you’re tooling around in your new BMW.
And now, I feel the need to grab some coffee. It might be illy. But I’m okay with that.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
They must save a lot of money on canned beans if they’re tooling around in a BMW.
Yeah, and I’m not kidding.
I SO agree!!
I’m 21-years-old and in college. I want to be a teacher. Everone told me that I would make a great teacher, but that I shouldn’t do it because of the pay. Most of my friends are going into business or engineering, paths that lead to the “big” bucks. And I’ll admitt that I did feel left out that they will be driving the BMW’s, living in the big houses, and going to all the hot clubs shortly after we graduate. Meanwhile, I’ll have a teachers salary. But the odd part is, that’s okay with me. I love the part were you metioned you and your husband make smarter choices so that you can have money to do other stuff. Preach on!