lawmummy

Clearly, I should have gone to Georgetown… Greta Van Susteren, Fox news anchor, chats about grading at the school and how the system is a “fraud.”

Do you agree with her?

Last week, the ABA Journal reported news that falls under “nothing new” - that males in the legal occupation make more than women.

The disparity, however, was fairly eye opening. According to the journal, males in legal occupations earned a median salary in 2007 of $105,233. The median salary of women was $53,790. Both numbers include paralegals and other legal professions.

If you just look at lawyers, women still make less. Female lawyers made a median of $93,600, 77.8% less than comparable salary for men, which was $120,400. Female judges and similar judicial professions reported median earnings of $69,500, just 64.3% of the median of $108,100 earned by males.

You can read the whole story here.

At our firm, we do a lot of pro bono. A lot. I don’t say that to pat us on the back or call us out but to give you a little context for my rant.

I know that people don’t like to pay lawyers. It annoys people that they have to pay to fix a situation that they don’t feel that they should be in the first place - even when the situation (like not paying taxes) is self-inflicted. I get this. It’s not fair, ya-da,  ya-da.

But this is the thing: I don’t, as a general rule, work for free. My free services are reserved for clients who have been vetted through services like the Philadelphia Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts; Senior Law Project; and Philly VIP. But otherwise, if you have a legal problem and you choose to come to my office, there is a fee associated with your visit. And if your matter is particularly complex or requires more time than one visit, it will be necessary to pay a retainer.

Similarly, I am headed off to the doctor shortly for my son’s appointment.  Do I think it’s fair that he is sick?  No.  Do I want to shell out more money to the doctor?  Of course not.  Do I understand that my doctor is taking time away from other patients to see my child?  Yes.  Do I understand that her time has value?  Definitely.  So, am I going to write out a check to her today? Absolutely.

And I’d venture to say that most of you would not even think of asking your doctor to give you a consult for free.  Your lawyer?  Another matter altogether.

Lately, I’ve had a string of sob stories come through my door, all wanting legal advice and not wanting to pay. Anything. They just want free advice - for complicated and sophisticated matters.  Many of these people have incomes far in excess of my own but feel that their situation merits my time for free or on the cheap nonetheless.  One professional went so far as to ask me in advance recently to “renegotiate” my consultation fee, which had already been discounted by more than 25% as a favor to the attorney who referred him.  He advised that he was not prepared to pay for my services beyond that meeting - he was on a fact gathering mission so that he could do the work himself.  And he wanted me to help him, for practically nothing.

To clarify, the fees at my office are not high - they are lower than most attorneys in the City with similar qualifications. I try to be affordable. I try to be fair.  So you tell me what’s fair about not paying me for my time…

Just because I am no longer at a fancy Center City firm does not mean that I do not have expenses. I do. And in some instances, my costs are actually higher per attorney than in Center City because insurance companies and other vendors understand that I don’t have the leverage of say, a Pepper, in the form of bulk sales of office supplies or multiple employees for coverage.  I still have to pay salaries and buy copy paper.  I have to pay rent and utilities - I don’t get a discount on electricity for having few employees.

And on a personal level, while I understand that you’re in a jam, I have children to feed and send to school.  I have a mortgage to pay.  I have heating to pay for.  I have student loans to pay back (I went to school to get those fancy diplomas, you know).  And yes, I’d like to buy my kids some Christmas presents once in awhile.

So it is with great annoyance that potential clients feel that it’s okay to nickel and dime me with respect to my services - and ask for free services.

The answer is no.

Really.  And here’s why.  When I was 18, I registered to vote as a single person.  When I last updated my license, I was married.   When I got married, I was told that I did not need to change my voter registration, so I didn’t.

However, since I’ve been called a bazillion times for jury duty (again on tomorrow), I began to wonder if there wasn’t a problem…  So I checked the Philadelphia web site.  And this is what is says:

However, if your name appears one way on the voter list and another way on your driver’s license, your chances of being called increase. The court is not permitted to make changes to these lists.

Adding to the likes of Andrew Speaker (filed under selfish men who only think about themselves and give lawyers a bad name) is Gary Zerola. Only his conduct is even more outrageous. Have you heard about this guy?

Zerola was a rather high profile attorney once named one of People magazine’s most eligible bachelor. He is now facing rape charges in two states.

According to two Boston police reports, officers responded to a frantic 911 call placed by the victim. During the call, officers reportedly heard her say “Gary, stop! Why are you doing this?” The report indicates that, among other things, Zerola slammed the victim’s head against a wall.

And it gets worse. Zerola is charged with a third attack (there were two women who have filed charges in Boston) in Miami where he allegedly drugged an 18 year old girl before raping her in his hotel room.

Things didn’t stop there. Despite being on probation, last month Zerola allegedly left Massachusetts without permission in order to travel to Florida to see the Patriots play the Dolphins. Zerola currently sits in jail.

One more thing… while I believe that every defendant is entitled to zealous representation, Zerola’s counsel, Janice Bassil’s arguments border on offensive. The defense strategy seems to be “blame the victim.” Says Bassil:

Here you have women pretending to be 21 years old, drinking. These are not vunerable children. As far as (Zerola) knew, these women were 21.

Or so says Ms. Margaret Krissie:

Dear Honest Friend,

My name is Ms. Margaret Krissie I am a dying woman who have decided to
donate what I have to you/ church. I am 58 years old and I was diagnosed for
cancer for about 3 years ago, immediately after the death of my husband, who
has left me everything he worked for.

I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my
late husband to you for the good work of God, rather than allow my relatives
to use my husband hard earned funds ungodly. Please pray that the good Lord
forgive me my sins. I have asked God to forgive me and I believe he has
because He is a merciful God. I will be going in for an operation in less
than one hour.

I decided to WILL/donate the sum of US$7,500,000.00 (Seven Million, Five
Hundred Thousand US Dollars Only) to you for the good work of the lord, and
also to help the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance
of the widows.

At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact
that my relatives are around me and my health status. I have adjusted my
WILL and my lawyer is aware I have changed my will and he will arrange the
transfer of the funds from my account to you. But this fund is in a bonded
state with an irrevocable comprehensive insurance cover, as a security
measure against my husband relatives. I wish you all the best and may the
good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always
extend the good work to others.

Contact my lawyer with this specified Email Address: -
{emorganlawyer@aol.com} and tell him that I have WILLED US$7,500,000.00
(Seven Million, Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars Only) to you by quoting my
personal reference number E-Morgan and Associates EM/EG/WILL/092514131209
and I have also notified him that I am WILLING that amount to you for a
specific and good work. I know I don’t know you but I have been directed by
God to do this. Thanks and God bless.

NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the
task is accomplished as I don’t want anything that will jeopardize my last
wish. And Also I will be contacting with you by email as I don’t want my
relation or anybody to know because they are always around me.

Best Regards,

Ms. Margaret Krissie.

I get about 5 of these per day - at least - but this one tickled my funny bone. I know, cancer is hilarious! You know what I mean.

I just don’t get the people who answer these kind of nutty emails. Don’t you ever question why Ms. Krissie would contact you, as opposed to say, one of the other gazillion mac users (mine came to a mac.com address)?

I saw a woman on Judge Judy who bought into this stuff. She really thought that she had won a random lottery and tried to pass a bogus “winning” check. She never thought to question it apparently. She just thought that she had gotten lucky. And while it’s easy to chalk this kind of stuff up to poor, uneducated people who are just dying for a way out, I will say that it’s not true. All kinds of people fall for this stuff. A colleague at Big Law Firm had a very wealthy client who flew to London to meet at a pre-arranged spot for purposes of being personally repaid money that he had advanced in one of these schemes. Of course, the other party never showed and the client was out a bit of money. The client was a sophisticated business person - and he had counsel! What was he thinking?

I guess, at the end of the day, people just want to believe that random, unbelievably good things will just happen. Here’s a heads up: if it does, it won’t require you to pay a bond.

From the Bloomington Herald Times:

Indiana University law student Jesse Sneed may have been aiming his assault rifle at his Real Estate Transfer Finance and Development textbook when he fired shots from his westside apartment balcony early Tuesday morning, police say. The book was found later in the parking lot, shot clean through by two rounds, according to investigators. Sneed, 27, was charged Thursday with criminal recklessness in connection with the incident, which closed down businesses and schools for several hours after neighbors reported hearing gunshots on the city’s west side Tuesday. No one was injured.

Oh c’mon, what law student hasn’t taken out their frustrations with an assault weapon?

A lot has been written and talked about with respect to the “Ellen dog fiasco.”  And I thought I’d take a moment to add my thoughts because… well, why not have yet another perspective, right?
Actually, I feel kind of strongly about this, which is why I wanted to say something.  I’ve seen a lot of comments berating Ellen for “not reading the contract” and going on and on about the law.  And usually, I come down on the side of the law.  Laws are in place to protect us and to protect those who can’t always speak up (dogs, children, you get the idea).

In this instance, I agree that Ellen did the wrong thing.  I also feel very strongly that the agency overreacted.

I have a “rescue dog” - I’ll bet that many of you have rescue animals.  We picked up our dog, Lyle, from the SPCA.  We named Lyle, we paid for him, we pay for his vet bills and his license.  But we do not “own” Lyle.  The papers that we signed say that we have to give him back to the SCPA if we no longer can care for him or if the SPCA feels that we’re not taking care of him properly.

Knowing all of this, I still call Lyle my dog.  He has lived in our house for eight years.  And in my will, I have bequeathed him to my parents if something happens to Chris and I.  Legally, we can’t do this.  Legally, we have to give him back.  But realistically, what are the chances of Lyle being adopted out to a good home if he were to go back to the SPCA?  He is now an 8 year old energetic lab with a crooked jaw.  You and I both know that he would likely be destroyed.  And imagine what would happen if every animal that was ever adopted through a “rescue” organization returned it when he or she couldn’t take care of it?  Chaos.

The point of those papers, really, isn’t to tie the hands of a pet owner looking to do what’s best for the pet.  It’s to ensure that dogs are not resold, abandoned, mistreated, etc.

So, was Ellen wrong?  Of course.  Was that agency really doing the right thing - or maybe just looking to make a point in the presence of lots of press?  Draw your own conclusions.

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

Officials at UC Berkeley’s Boalt Hall School of Law spent nearly $25,000 on a branding consultant to help them give the school a new name: “UC Berkeley School of Law.” Dean Christopher Edley Jr. said the money was well-spent because people will now understand that that the law school is tied to UC Berkeley.

Makes me wonder why I went into law instead of, say, marketing.

Wow. And wow.

A home-schooled teenager decided to plan an attack on a local high school a la Columbine. It didn’t happen. But it could have. Police found a number of weapons in his bedroom including 30 air-powered guns, swords, knives, hand grenades and (my favorite) a 9mm assault rifle that the teenager’s mother had recently bought for him. That’s right. His mother bought him an assault rifle. The weapons were plainly visible in the boy’s bedroom, according to the DA’s office.

Clearly, the woman has issues. And how nice that she’s home schooling. Wonder what she’s teaching him… bomb making at home? H