lawmummy

I am not one of those girls who remembers every anniversary of every single thing in my life. I couldn’t tell you the date that I first kissed my husband, the date that we decided to get married or the date that we first went out…

But I can tell you what I was doing 10 years ago tonight. I was sitting in the floor of my dining room, no furniture, eating fried chicken from the Acme. It the was first night in our new home.

Although I can’t remember what I did last week, I can recollect every single moment of that day in September. It was ridiculously hot - a record for Philadelphia. Friends and family came to help us move our things in… At one point, I turned to my dad and told him that if Chris and I ever split up (we weren’t married then, shh!), he could have everything because I was never moving again. It was a flurry of activity all day long. And finally, at some point, everyone was gone and it was just Chris and I in our new house.

In just a few short months, I was calling it my home. I cleaned and painted and moved things around. I remember thinking that we could never fill this house, it just felt so big.

Ten years later, we often say that it feels small. We have packed our whole lives into these three floors.

This is my home.

This is where Lyle first crawled out of his box, all sneezy and whiny. He cried all night in his crate - and I stayed home from work the next day because I was worried that he was sick.

This is where Chris and I would sit out on our porch every Friday afternoon in summer while our friends popped in and out for casual happy hours.

This is where I announced each of my pregnancies. With Katie, it was on Thanksgiving. I was terribly morning sick. Both families were here for the holidays. We went around to say what we were thankful for - I said that I was thankful for the Potscrubber 600 (our dishwasher) because we’d need it with a new baby.

This is where each of my children took their first steps. And where they learned to ride bikes and scooters and to chalk on the sidewalk.

This is where I learned to love football. When the Eagles were playing the Green Bay Packers in the play-offs - and the power went out in the neighborhood - we watched as the whole neighborhood got into their cars to hear the end of the game. In a miraculous twist of fate, the Eagles won that game. And I suddenly got it, that feeling of how sports can bring you together.

This is where our firm started - upstairs, on the third floor. We saw our first ever potential client here and turned him down because he wanted us to do something that we didn’t feel comfortable doing. I spent the whole night worried that someone who just asked us to do something illegal now knew where we lived… but it was a great precedent. We made the right decision. And eventually, fortune smiled on us.

There is where my kids had their birthday parties and we had our holiday parties and potluck suppers.

This is where camera crews interviewed us for “Trading Spaces” - and I described us (yes, out loud) as “I’m a little bit country and he’s a little bit rock and roll.” And years later, this is where camera crews set up shop all day to monitor Amy’s wacky sleeping disorder for “Surviving Motherhood.”

This is where I came home empty-handed after giving birth to Katie. She was in the NICU for days and finally, they made us go home without her. I never thought a house could feel so empty.

This is where my kids got sick, fell down stairs, cracked teeth and otherwise got hurt - and eventually got better.

This is where I cried together with Chris watching the coverage of 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina.

This is where I laughed myself hoarse at stories from friends during girls’ nights on Wednesdays and at Chris’ corny jokes.

This is where I planned my first garden from scratch, where I got poison ivy from my insane neighbor, where I eagerly awaited the burst of color from tulips every spring and the crunch of dried grass under my feet in fall.

This is where my kids first played in the snow and where I first shoveled snow.

This is where I have packed away ten years’ worth of memories - both good and bad. This is home.

Oh gosh. This is just painful to watch:

The conversation went, more or less, something like this:

…but I don’t think they like me. I tried… but I think they just didn’t want to talk me.

And yes, it was on the playground. And no, it wasn’t Katie. And it wasn’t Amy. It wasn’t me, either, even though you know I’ve been down this road before. It was a friend. And the others? Also friends.

What do you say when your friends don’t seem to get along? Or worse yet, when your friends’ kids don’t get along?

Before kids, this was easy. I usually just invited everyone to everything and hoped for the best. Happy hours were large, casual events. With a drink in hand, almost everyone found someone to talk to.

But when kids crept in, things changed. There was always the one roaming eye in conversations, trying to keep up with chatting and watching the kid(s) at the same time. The bragging started (”my daughter is already potty trained… how long has it been since you started trying?”), the defense mechanisms kicked in (”but then, our family has always been small”) and social events just became, quite frankly, less enjoyable. As time went on, you could add to already awkward moments, the added complications of different schools, day cares and athletic leagues. The result? A full blown separation.

I remember, in law school, when Chris was wary about me meeting his college friends. They were so different from his law school friends - and me. We used to regularly joke whenever we came close to mixing company that it was “worlds colliding” a la Seinfeld. And eventually, it all worked out.

But with kids, it never feels like it will work out. My circle of friends is odd, I’ll admit, pulling from a lot of different worlds. And I never expected that everyone would get along all of the time. But I find the polarity - and sometimes the glaring omissions at parties and other events - tough to take sometimes.

Not only do I feel weird for my friends, I feel weird for me, too. When I can’t sort out my own social circle, it makes me feel like I don’t quite fit either - if I’m not 100% crunchy/focused on career/churchy/mommycentric/crafty/kept/trendy/earthy/casual/chic - who am I exactly?

Sigh. Why can’t everyone just get along?

The sweater that Mayor Nutter donned for the Philadelphia schools ad campaign, pictured above, was apparently not his taste (PR translation: he hates it) so he’s not keeping it. Instead, he’s agreed to autograph the sweater (if you want) and auction it off for a good cause. Proceeds from the auction will go to the Philadelphia Youth Network to raise money to support after school and internship programs that help kids stay in school.

You can place your bid here. There is one hour left.

C’mon, what are you waiting for? Argyle is hot this season!

It’s that time of year again. The time when I complain incessantly about the neighbors’ cats.

Let me just say, before the fur starts to fly, that I happen to like cats. I grew up with cats and had one at my house for 21 years. Yep, an old cranky Siamese that I adored. When he passed on, my whole family was devastated. So I don’t loathe cats. I loathe bad cat owners.

I live in the city. I don’t get cat owners who allow their cats to roam in the city - especially without tags and double especially without being spade or neutered.

There is a horrid black and white cat that sits on my porch when the weather begins to turn. He sprays my porch with his nasty cat stink. Nice, huh?

This morning, there he was, sunning himself on my porch. And yes, he stunk the joint up.

Any thoughts on this? I mean, besides shooting the cats which is neither humane nor legal. Plus I don’t have a gun.

I can’t take the stink. I can’t take the fur (not to mention, hubby is allergic to cats). And it freaks my dog out - my dog which I keep nicely inside or in the gated back yard.

Continuing my plan to try and think of something to be thankful for every day through November, I’m adding “late shopping hours at Kohl’s.”  I hate to shop, but boy is it much easier without the children.

Charlie has shoes now.

Yep, as in more than one.

The run down:

• My terrible, horrible, no good pro bono case has help!  Hooray!  Yep, an attorney has signed on to help.  Say a quick prayer that it works.  This case is eating away at my sanity.
• Katie does not have Lyme disease.  Her nasty tick bite is just a nasty tick bite.  The head is still in - the doctor couldn’t get it out (me either) and we decided that it was better to let it work its way out.
• Amy is still sick - what else is new?
• Our plumbing is fixed.  Oh yeah.  We can actually run the dishwasher and the washing machine at the same time.  That, my friends, is luxury.  I did seven loads of wash yesterday.
• The heating is working.  Not that I want to jinx it.  Why can’t someone give us a price to replace it?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Anyone but Sears, that is.  I don’t want to have proof of spousal consent in order to get a freakin’ heater.
• My new phone cord is coming today.
• My new extension cord is coming today.  The old one was hissing at Amy.  Hubby says, in his infinite wisdom, that Amy shouldn’t be touching the old one.  I agree.  But I don’t want her electrocuted as punishment.

Um, think that’s it.  If I get some sleep this week, things will be almost normal.

Here’s a thought:  plumbing that works is always better than plumbing that doesn’t.

It’s Green Thumb Sunday!

Okay, my posts for GTS have been woefully sporadic. It’s been chaos at the house, what with cold and flu season, our uncooperative heater and the revenge of the plumbing gods… But I have been out working in the yard. And perhaps next week, I’ll have photos that I actually took to share.

For now, you’ll have to rely on this photo from easywildflowers.com:

It’s beautyberry. I purchased a beautyberry bush (my first ever) in September and have kept it in a pot since. I know that it prefers to be planted so with the threat of frost not so far off, I decided to plant it in the yard over the weekend.

The planting was part of a mass of plantings, prunings and other fall maintenance in the yard - it was desperately needed, I might add. I have four full garden bags full of yard “debris” plus some in the garbage can.

What did I do?

I moved a butterfly bush whose size was interfering with the sidewalk - it would do better in the back corner, I think. I replaced it with some lavender plants that had been overshadowed by an overzealous hibiscus and some out of control (but pretty) lantana.

I also moved an azalea bush. It’s the second time moving it - it’s never taken off for one reason or another. Lyle was trampling all over it from before and it was crowded by hostas and hibiscus this summer and didn’t get enough sun. So it’s in its third location now, let’s hope that the third time is a charm!

Two daylilies were relocated to the back - they were being overgrown by giant tomato plants. Yes, I know that the tomato plants won’t be there in the spring but the lilies just looked so unhappy after doing beautifully the first year that they were planted (yes, this photo is from my garden):

I decided that the lone clump of hostas near the vegetable garden just looked sad, so I moved them back over to be social with their hosta friends.  I removed a lot of weeds and dug up onion grass (the bane of my existence).  I also spent a lot of time digging up a plant cover vine that turned out to be ridiculously invasive (the name of which I don’t even remember).

I divided the peonies last week but decided that the original spot in the back yard near the table wasn’t such a great idea because it was subjected to abuse from the children.  Instead, I moved it over near the forsythia - bright yellow and pink, how pretty will that be?

I planted a small Japanese maple near where the peonies used to be.  I think it will provide a lovely burst of color while we eat.  In the back of the yard, I planted yet another tree - a sourwood.  Slow growing, but attractive.  It will be a great addition!

I  desperately need mulch for the yard and some hardscaping.  We also got a nice quote for fencing this week.  The crazy neighbor’s poison ivy is baaa-a-ck despite my best efforts to chase it away, so a new fence is absolutely necessary.

Sigh.  A gardener’s work is never done… I am excited for the garden for next year!

If you live in the Wissahickon area, note that this Saturday is WEAN’s last cleanup of the year,  Come be a part of the community, meet your neighbors, and help keep our neighborhood beautiful!

100 Steps-Saturday Nov 3rd from 10-??

Please note that children must keep to the steps/path area and out of the woods from now on!! We found drug paraphenalia and needles - please wear long pants, work gloves and thick soled shoes!

For more information about WEAN, visit their web site.