lawmummy

I knew the days would come when my kids wanted expensive gadgets to fit in with their friends. I just didn’t think it would happen in kindergarten. Oh yeah, kindergarten.

Katie came home recently and asked me if she could have a cell phone. A real cell phone.

“Nope,” I told her.

“Why not?” she demanded.

“Because you’re too young to have a cell phone.”

“But Jaelynn has one,” she protested.

“I don’t care that Jaelynn has one.”

“Her mom gave her one when she was 6. Can I have one when I am 6?”

“No.”

“Why not? Jaelynn’s mom gave her one.”

“I don’t care that Jaelynn’s mom gave her one. I think 6 is too young for a cell phone.”

She thought for a minute. “What about 7?”

“No.”

“8?”

“No.”

“10?”

The answer to that, I assure you is also no. But I got tired of the discussion. So instead I said, “You can ask your dad that one - but I’m pretty sure that he’s going to say no.”

“It’s not fair!!” she whined.

Oh Katie, you have no idea. Get used to it, kiddo.

So, I’ve spent the better part of the day trying to sort out my IDs. The rogue “taxgirl” IDs floating around are becoming a problem - for a bunch of reasons.

If you’ve been looking, you can find me at twitter.com/taxgirl

Spam in my inbox had “Kelly Erb’s Naked Video” in the subject line. Really? And here I had no idea…

C’mon Mr. Spammer, nobody needs that mind picture. Please stop.

On Friday, we settled in at the house to watch The Wizard of Oz and eat some popcorn. It was part of a deal that I worked out with the girls, assuming that they got ready for bed on time.

So there we were, all snuggled in and I realized that I couldn’t find my earphones for my iPod. Of course, my iPod had been missing for weeks - the victim of the particularly crazy week that landed a sick Katie in the ER waiting room at CHOP. Just prior to that, I had ordered new earphones since Amy had eaten my old ones (don’t ask). They were on back order and arrived after I had lost my iPod.

At first, we were pretty certain that the iPod was hidden in the house somewhere. It is an iPod Nano and is roughly the size of a bank card. I loved it - it had all of my music (which I live by, my life is a soundtrack), photos, calendar, etc. Since we found the damaged earphones, I assumed that the iPod had been picked up by one of the kiddos and relocated. Weeks later, no iPod.

The iPod-less existence was driving me crazy. When I went to the Y for the first time, iPod-less, I noted that my workout was less effective… who can exercise without good music? Drives in the car were not the same. Overall, I was missing my iPod. Chris kept saying that it must be in the house and I agreed. I just couldn’t find it.

Back to the earphones. I was more than annoyed that I managed to lose the iPod and the new earphones. I asked Chris if he had seen my earphones. He looked up at the TV, where we had been watching The Wizard of Oz. There, on top, was a box with a hot pink Post-It that said “Don’t Lose Me.” Ahh, my earphones.

Only not.

It was a brand new iTouch. And oooooh, so pretty. I am in love. With the iTouch, for sure, and also with Lawdaddy. Believe it or not, the iTouch has put me in a much-o better mood for the week. Who can live without music??? And don’t get me started on the wi-fi…

So, Comcast is expected to come by my house today and perhaps (dare we dream) fix our cable service.

The track record to date is not good.

Last Monday, when I was in the ER, I came back to the house to see our emergency babysitters (and fabulous friends) watching Kipper. Now, while I enjoy Kipper on occasion myself, you will rarely find me watching it by myself - and never at midnight. Apparently, the cable was out on every channel except for PBS Sprout.

On Tuesday, the problem persisted.

On Wednesday, I called for service. I was given a window on Saturday between 1 and 3pm.

Remarkably, the tech arrived. He explained that we had a bad connector and fixed some wires. The problem persisted but he told us that it would work itself out after a bit. Um, not really.

Eight hours later, we had no cable. I called again, waited 37 minutes and was disconnected. I called back and spoke to Michael who managed to correct our billing problem (we have been overcharged more than $100 since November) and set up a service call on Sunday between 1 and 5pm. Michael said that someone would call to confirm the service call on Sunday morning.

No one called Sunday morning. I finally called Comcast at 1pm to find out what was going on. They assured me that I was still on the list.

When 5pm rolled around, you can imagine our lack of surprise to not see a tech arrive. I called to find out the scoop. While on the phone, the rep tells me that she has sent a ticket to support. The phone beeps - and it’s support! He says “we’re running late but will still come.” I said, “That’s great because I was just on the phone asking about this.” The guy says, “I know, that’s why I’m calling.”

Translation: I just want to close the ticket.

And you guessed it, no one ever showed up. No phone call.

And no phone call the next day (today) either.

(Lest you be surprised, this same thing happened with Comcast back in fall. We ordered DVR and no one ever showed up with our box. No one called. No apology. Nothing.)

So, annoyed, I sent an email to corporate. And I called to find out if anyone was - ever - coming to fix my cable.

As of about 11am today, I have assurances from “George” that someone will be here today between 3:30pm and 5pm (let’s synchronize clocks now - I have 12:06 pm). George has also issued me a credit.

Any bets as to:

1, whether anyone will show up
2, whether anyone will show up between the times stated
3, whether the cable will actually be fixed

This site is really cool:

http://www.backtobasicstoys.com/

So, LawDaddy calls to get the damn serial number for GoLive.

Remember, I’m at the home office with the actual product.  LawDaddy is not.

And what does Adobe tell LawDaddy?  That I should have called since I’m installing the product (insert swearing under breath here).  And if I’m not mistaken, it was a woman who said this.  It’s confusing because we’ve spoken to about five Adobe folks at this point.

So 27 minutes on the phone later, and some yelling from Chris, we have re-installed GoLive.

Jeez, it better be worth it.

I’m on the phone with Adobe tech support right now.

I am having a serial number issue.  I have to reinstall a version of GoLive onto my computer following a system failure.

So I call Adobe.  Customer Service guy #1 asks me for an email address (check), mailing adddress (check) and serial number (check).  He gives me my Customer Number and transfers me to “Aaron” - Customer Service Sexist Asshole.

Aaron asks for email address (check), mailing address (check), serial number (check) and customer number (check).  He says he sees the old serial number (!) that I need (great) but… he can’t give it to me.  He can only speak to “my husband.”

Wha-huh?  I say to him, “Do you realize what you just said?  Doesn’t that sound offensive to you?”

Let me put this into a quick perspective.  My husband and I run a company together.  We have the same last name.  This is company software - a company which has our last name in the title.  I own part of the company.  Aaron - Customer Service Sexist Asshole - says it’s Adobe policy that he can only speak to - his phrase, again - “your husband.”  Why?  Because his name is on the computer screen.

Really.  If I were a large company - like IBM - calling, you’d insist on speaking to the ONE person whose name is on your screen?  I don’t think so.

I explain to him that he knows that we aren’t pirating the software - I have the disk in my hand and it’s registered to Adobe.  He also sees that the other software was registered - to the same address.  It is also my address.  Customer Service guy #1, with the same information, could talk to me but Customer Service Sexist Asshole can’t?

I take a deep breath and again explain that it is my computer.  The company belongs to me and my husband (the company name does appear in Adobe’s records, by the way).  I am trying to reinstall.  I just needed the number.  No.  He can only give it to my husband.

I ask him whether he would appreciate it if someone spoke to his mother or his grandmother this way.  He says that he won’t respond to comments about his personal life.

And this is the thing.  Do you really thing that they would have treated LawDaddy the same way if he called and I had been the one whose name was on the screen?  Of course not.

This is hysterical.  And certainly useful.  Hmm.

Is no one else surprised that the most popular state for this is California?

Every now and again, I have one of those moments when I realize just how much life has changed from when I was a kid…

The girls were not behaving nicely in the store on Saturday and exasperated, I heard myself say, “Do you girls really want me to text message the Easter Bunny?”