Banking On It.

Okay, for all of you who have sent me emails and comments implying that I am somehow super-human, oh, how mistaken you are.  I just sound good on paper.  Let me share a typical day with you.  Let’s choose today…

Roll out of bed between 7am and 8am.  Really tired, have slept late because Katie and Charlie are both sick.  There is no sleeping through the night.  Was up several times in an unsuccessful effort to stem the crying/put kids back to sleep so that more people and animals in the house don’t wake up.

Check email.  Annoyed with fellow community member trying to sabotage effort that I have been working on for months now.  Comment to my colleague that this is the most difficult thing I have done in awhile, and this from a woman who has delivered three children and passed two bar exams.

Post tinytreasury.com blog entry.  Check to make sure that today’s taxgirl.com entry and family.com entry are posted.  Check, check and check.  Speaking of check, glance at clock and realize am in desperate need of a shower.  I have a client appointment at 10am.

Shower takes all of five minutes.  Spread moisturizer over face in a hurry.  Chris points out that I failed to rub it in properly.  Am thankful that he noticed before client did.

While I am taking a shower, kids are playing in Ikea tent that Chris set up in the family room.  Katie drags Charlie into tent by his neck and tries to flip the tent over.  Am amazed that later-born children ever survive into adulthood.

Get dressed.  Have very little to wear.  Settle on incongruous outfit of pinstriped suit skirt, long sleeved tee shirt, brown vintage tee and sweater.  Also put on sneakers because I can.  I look like grunge lawyer mommy.

Run out of the house with two bags, three children and one husband.  There is still snow on the girl but the temps promise to reach the upper 40s (wahoo).  I am glad because I forgot my coat.

Cling to coffee mug but no time to drink it.  This is better than yesterday when I carried mug around with me, forgetting where I put it until…  it flew off of the top of the car as we drove away.

Arrive at the office with a little time to spare.  Review client file and again check email.

Client is thrilled to see the children.  She has not seen Charlie or Amy at all, and had not seen Katie for years.  Client nicely overlooks the fact that the office is a disaster.  Amy and Katie have dropped raisin bread crumbs all over the floor.  Coats, hats and the occasional glove have been left willy-nilly around the office.  It looks like a storm has hit.

Meeting goes well.  After meeting, decide to order lunch.  Realize that I have no cash and pop over the the bank with Amy and Madgirl to make a withdrawal.

Cannot remember my PIN and manage to de-activate card.

I walk back to office to call bank about ATM card.  Bank resets PIN.  I mention over the phone that part of my problem is that, when bank resent lost cards from when my wallet was stolen, they changed my PIN and I can’t remember the new number.  The representative suggests that I change my PIN over the ATM.  This is brilliant.

I return to the bank to change the PIN.  I realize I left my card on my desk because I needed it while on the telephone.  Back to office.

Card firmly tucked away in wallet, I soldier back to the bank.  I enter my PIN and try to change to new PIN.  Card is de-activated again. 

I call bank back and ask what happened.  Apparently, you only get one try to change your PIN, else card is de-activated.  Lovely.  I ask them to re-activate.  It is now more complicated.  I have to wait on hold while representative inquires as to what happened.  When it is confirmed, representative advises me to wait twenty more minutes.  Fingers crossed.

A colleague calls, asks if I want to serve on a committee.  I say yes.  I can feel Chris’ eyes boring a hole in me from the other room.

Little while later, another call.  I make an appointment with the folks at the bar while Chris is away in Germany.  I wonder where I am stashing children, will figure it out later.  Somehow, I accidentally tell them I have five children.  No, it just feels like I have five children.

Another call about a tax problem.  Katie has to go potty while I’m on the phone and can’t seem to get the door open.  I sense trauma on the horizon.  With a giant push, while holding her crotch and yelling "I really have to go potty!" the door opens and crisis is avoided.

Suddenly, I realize it is 2:30pm.  Children have had no nap.  Katie has played far too many video games.  I have not finished my to do list.  I think about going home but must pick up dog food (lest Lyle lead a revolt later) and parmesan cheese.

I get an email from Chris update.  He’s in town, full day with appointments and then teaching later.  I vaguely remember him putting on a suit this morning.  Make mental note to spend more quality time together.

Chris is worried about how to handle his dad’s medical treatment.  We are not convinced that the hospital is pursuing the best course of action for him, but is instead being lead by the wishes of the insurance company (Aren’t you glad that we don’t have socialized medicine?  It’s soooo much better to line the pockets of the CEOs of insurance companies while choices about our loved ones’ care are made based on numbers, not quality care.  But I digress.).

He says, and I agree, that this is one of those times it sucks to be a lawyer.  All of the ambulance-chasing lawyers give us a bad name.  Chris wants more information about his dad’s care but is scared that if they find out he’s a lawyer, it will get worse.  Trust me, this happens all of the time.  Doctors are so scared of lawsuits that they don’t exercise real judgment – just malpractice mitigation.  I give Chris my two cents, which he promises to consider.  Laying odds that he won’t follow my advice.

Potential nanny candidate is suggested.  I send really good vibes, hope it works out.  I say this as my children are drinking cup after cup of water – just to be able to get it out of the water cooler – and yelling in the background while I am on the phone.  Worried that I sound too desperate.  Comment is made that it sounds as though I’m "on my knees."  Begging?  I fear what the hourly rate will be for someone who thinks I’m begging.

I think about the water thing and prepare for onslaught of potty time.

Work day is coming to a close.  At 4:30pm, I have haircuts scheduled for Katie, Amy and myself.  Then home for dinner.

How can a day actually last this long?

I never finished my coffee.  Plot instead to have a glass of wine later while watching "America’s Next Top Model."

Tagged as: banking, mother, parenting, Wonder Woman