lawmummy

It’s Make It Through the Week Monday! For details, read how it started. The blogroll is still small right now (check it out in the sidebar), so c’mon, join and add to the fun!

Today’s thing that makes me smile is…

Three things:

1. Katie
2. Amy
3. Coffee

Okay, they’re not drinking coffee in this picture. It’s hot chocolate. We are a hot beverage family.

Last night, when Amy was fighting going to sleep, this is what she said, “MOM-MEEEE! I need something to drink. I’m THURSSTEEE!” And then a pause. “I need a hot cup of coffee.”

God bless her.

It’s Green Thumb Sunday! Okay, it’s Monday and I’m pretending that it’s Green Thumb Sunday. It’s been a long weekend.

That said, here we go:

I know, I know. You’re thinking that I’m shirking my GTS responsibilities this week by posting a picture of a dandelion.

But this is the thing: my girls love dandelions. And this week, we were out gardening in the backyard. I was pulling weeds. Katie specifically asked me to leave the dandelions alone, so she could pick them. I did.

Later, a neighbor came over and Katie was purposefully explaining all of the “work” that she had done along with me, right down to the weeding. The neighbor saw the dandelions and said, “But you need to get the dandelions. They’re weeds, right?” Katie was crushed. But in true Katie form, it was only for a moment. You see, she likes dandelions. She thinks they’re beautiful. And as far as she’s concerned, you can call it a weed all day long, that doesn’t detract from its beauty.

So, she went about collecting more from the yard. She had a huge bunch in hand, which she put next to me. “Mommy,” she said very matter-of-factly, “Hold onto these lion’s teeth.” And she flashed me a huge grin. She’s very proud of herself for knowing the translation of the name; Chris speaks German and told her that’s what it means.

And for those of you who dismiss the dandelion simply as a weed, you’re wrong (despite that horrible lawn commercial on TV where the woman says, “Dandelions are the enemy”). Dandelions can be eaten (dandelion greens are yummy in a salad, we eat them quite a bit, relatively speaking) and they’re very nutritious. Down South, they use the flowers to make wine. I’ve never had it, but how can you not like a plant that can be turned into wine?

Anyhow, I know there are those of you staring with contempt at my little dandelion. But my family kind of likes it. And that’s what makes it a GTS entry.

A sad lawyer?

Your comments on my post about the Aussie study about lawyers piqued my interest.  Are lawyers really more depressed than other professionals?  Is there something about the profession?  Or is all an elaborate over-analysis in a profession where people already think too much of themselves?

You know that I already think about this a lot, this issue of whether the profession is inherently stressful or whether we make it that way.  The death of Matthew Courtney, the London associate at Freshfields raised the dialogue on the issue of increasing pressure in the profession, specifically at big law firms.  And last month’s article on law.com and the billable hour likewise made a lot of folks think about what the value - the real value - of success might be.

Being a numbers girl, I was interested in seeing some stats, even though I understand that anything can be manipulated to make a point.  Still, I wanted to see if there were any studies other than the Aussie study that offered anything in the way of meaningful results.  There is a lot of info out in cyberspace about this stuff.

One of the more interesting bits was posted over at Life at the Bar.  Michael Cohen, Executive Director of Florida Lawyers Assistance, had presented these statistics about attorney
substance abuse, depression, and suicide rates:

• 15-18% of attorneys will have substance abuse problem vs. 10% of general population.
• Over 1/3 of attorneys say they are dissatisfied and would choose another profession if they could.
• Attorneys have the highest rates of depression and suicide of any profession.

Mr. Cohen also cited a study of Canadian lawyers that showed suicide to be
the third leading cause of death for attorneys, behind only cancer and
heart disease.  And, Julie Fleming-Brown, author of Life at the Bar reported that studies show that 51% of lawyers experience stress at
higher levels than the “normal” population.

Hmm.

And there’s more.  The American Bar Association ("ABA") had estimated that 15-18% of
lawyers and judges suffer from alcohol and drug abuse, at a rate nearly twice the rate of the general population.  The ABA also reports that one of every four lawyers suffers from stress, and out of
105 occupations, lawyers rank first in depression.  In addition, a
disproportionate number of lawyers commit suicide.

And there’s still more.  In
1991, the Johns Hopkins Medical School conducted a study finding the legal profession to have the highest rate of
clinical depression, a rate 3.6 times more likely to occur in the legal
profession than the other professions examined.

And in my home state of North Carolina, it was reported that while 3-9% percent of the population at any given time may experience
depression, a quality-of-life survey conducted by the North Carolina Bar Association reported that almost 26% of the bar’s members exhibited symptoms of clinical
depression. Almost 12% of them said they contemplated suicide at least once each
month.

Those are some sobering statistics, pun completely intended.  I’m not sure what to think of them.  Yet.

Katie must think my sewing machine has magical powers.  She is supposed to dress up like a hero for school today.  So, this is what she tells me when I ask her what I need to make.

I want to be Super Katie with an "M" on the back.  I want a cape.  And I want to fly.

According to an Australian study, among professionals, "employees in law firms were the most prone to moderate
to severe depression. Fifteen per cent of those surveyed reported
negative thought-patterns, low energy, lack of meaning in life and
pessimism about the future."  Additionally, lawyers were the most likely to try to
mask their symptoms with alcohol or drugs.

I’m gonna sit here, take another sip of my beer, and think about this.

Tax season is just dragging on and on.  Will it never end?  There’s nothing like an impending tax deadline to remind those taxpayers who haven’t filed in the last five years or so that they should consider doing it.  And that usually means tomorrow.

(Deep breaths)

So here’s the scoop:

I’m exhausted and crabby.   Amy hasn’t slept well in days which means that she spends her entire waking time crying about everything:  Kathleen’s shoe fell off (Kathleen’s her doll), Duckie has an ant on it, Katie looked at her funny, Charlie took his sock off…  I am hopeful that her appointment with the ear, nose and throat specialist at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia will offer some solutions.   Her sleep has been restless, in part, due to chronic congestion.  She also complains of headaches and occasional neck stiffness.  So, off to a specialist we go!

Katie has apparently been brilliant at school all week but not so much at home.  Since she shares a room with Amy, I’m blaming her behavior on being tired since Amy isn’t sleeping well.  It makes me feel better to think that way anyhow.

On the plus side, my credit cards weren’t stolen.  My good friend had hers taken last week from a local bookstore while she was reading books with her children.  The freakin’ thieves spent $1500 in three hours at Target, Staples and Best Buy.

And even more on the plus side, my business breakfast today went off without a hitch.  I’ll post more about it tomorrow. 

Must.  sleep.  now.

Welcome to the meme! For details, read how it started. The blogroll is tiny right now (check it out in the sidebar), so c’mon, join and add to the fun!

Today’s thing that makes me smile is…

LYLE!

Or more specifically, what’s wrong with her parents?

This little girl won a competition for texting the fastest.  The full story is here.

The most disturbing part of the story is her statement that:

She estimated that she sends more than 8,000 text messages a month to her friends and family.

Are you freaking kidding me?  She’s 13 years old.  That’s 300 messages a day.  Assuming that she’s not texting in school (which I’m not sure is a good assumption), and assuming that her parents put her into bed at a decent hour, and assuming that she doesn’t text during meals (which again, not sure is a good assumption), I estimate that she has to text about once every minute during the rest of her day to make these kind of numbers.  Homework?  Extra-curricular activities?  Hanging out with friends?

Why in the world would you encourage this as a parent?

I am so exhausted. I have lots to say and very little time to say anything. So I’ll just cut to the chase: It’s Green Thumb Sunday!

Chris and I joined Morris Arboretum last weekend and I am thrilled. I didn’t know what an arboretum was before I moved to Philly. I guess I thought it was a giant tree museum. Nope. It’s basically a large park where the flowers and fauna are thoughtfully arranged and where the classification and type of each plant are noted for guests.

Morris claims to be 92 acres and it’s inside Philadelphia proper (we have sooo many gardens!). It’s really lovely.

This weekend was the first weekend of April without rain and cold. It was beautiful out - sunny and 70s (ahhh, finally!) so we struck out for the arboretum again this weekend, the second in a row, to enjoy the sunshine. The nice thing about the arboretum is that the paths are paved (nice for strollers) and there are large expanses of grass for the girls to run around on and play. There are also little niches like the grotto where the girls can explore. As the weather turns, the backdrop changes. It’s like a new “museum” each week.

One of the cool places to visit at the arboretum is the fernery. Chris took some amazing photos there, and I’ve posted them here. Enjoy!

Like a lot of Americans with apparently far too much time on our hands, I have spent far too much time speculating about the home life of Natasha from America’s Next Top Model.  It just really bothers me to hear that she came over from Russia at the age of 18, with no English skills, to marry a man twice her age.  Mostly because it scares me a little that men seek women out in this "mail order" sort of way.

You can say what you want about love and blah, blah, blah, but it either reeks of frightening paternalism ("I want to take care of her") or control or both.

That’s why an article on law.com caught my eye this morning.  Apparently, last month, U.S. District Judge Clarence Cooper reversed
his own decision, now finding that the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act
of 2005 which requires male users to reveal their arrests or
convictions for violent crimes does not restrict a web site’s
commercial free speech rights.  That web site, European Connections & Tours Inc., had sought an injunction arguing that the law was costly and potentially damaging to business (which of course outweighs any benefit to society, right?).

In fact, Preston Steckel (yes, I do imagine him wearing an ascot and smoking a pipe), the president of European Connections in
Alpharetta, Georgia, said he was "very disappointed in the outcome."

The law is meant to protect women who are brought to the US from foreign countries for marriage "or romance" and requires brokers to obtain certification from their U.S. customers documenting whether they have
ever been the subject of civil protection or restraining orders;
whether they have been arrested or convicted on criminal charges that
include homicide, assault, domestic violence, sexual assault, torture,
kidnapping or stalking; and whether they have any arrests or
convictions associated with engaging in prostitution or procuring
prostitutes. It also requires customers to disclose marital histories and the ages of any
children under 18.  Further, it requires international marriage brokers to
search national and state sex offender registries for the names of the
men they may enlist and provide that information to the women.

The 2006 law was passed in response to a rising rate of
domestic violence against immigrant women, many of whom entered America
under temporary visas as "mail-order brides."  A 1999 report to Congress by the USCIS estimated that 4,000 to 6,000 American men a year are matched with
foreign women seeking marriage - most of whom are from the Philippines where a majority of women live in poverty.  By, 2004, those
numbers had doubled and there was a corresponding increase in domestic violence cases involving
"mail-order brides."

The most public of these abuse cases involved Anastasia King, who
came to Washington State from Kyrgyzstan.  King was 18 when she decided to seek a husband through a broker.  Her new husband did not disclose a history of violence and protective orders, who eventually murdered her.  Before his arrest, he was seeking another "mail order" bride through a brokerage firm like Steckel’s.

Steckel is not in agreement with the judge’s order but has said he will not appeal.  He has instead converted two of his web sites,
EastWestmatch.com and RussianLadies.com, to entertainment sites with
information and chat rooms.  And yes, they are as horrifying as you imagine.  His third site, Globaladies.com, will conform to the new regulation, he claims.

Me?  I just don’t get it.