lawmummy

Have a fabulous holiday and I’ll see you in the New Year!

It’s Green Thumb Sunday!

Today’s picture is… grass? I know what you’re thinking. It’s the holidays, Kelly is desperate for photos. Well maybe. But I also think there is something to be said about grass, which is why I took the photo.

I live in the City. I do not have the acres of grass that many suburbanites plant in an attempt to have a lovely “garden.” And prior to moving to the City, I lived in the woods, where likewise, there was not a lot of grass because it wasn’t natural - we relied on pine needles and native plants as groundcover. Newsflash: Kentucky Bluegrass, Zoysia, Rye and other varietals are not native in most areas. So, I don’t “get” planting it as far as the eye can see (notwithstanding the environmental nightmares that it can create).

Wait, don’t throw clippings at me yet. I’m not saying that grass is bad. I like grass. We have it in my yard. But I have bits of it. I also have zinnias, coneflowers, azaleas, butterfly bushes and more. I don’t rely on grass as my focal point; personally, I don’t consider a lawn a garden.

And this is why I think grass gets the short-shrift: it’s way over-used. I love the color of grass (green has always been my favorite color). I love it’s usefulness. I love it’s durability, right now, in winter, it’s still packing a punch of beautiful green long after the tulips, coneflowers and even mums have faded away.

And it’s not just one shade of green. Different grasses (including decorative ones) offer

varying hues of greens and golds - sometimes reds, too.

So, give grass a fair shake, but don’t overexpose it a la J-Lo or Paris Hilton. Too much of a good thing is, well, not a good thing.

Use grass to make a statement, to brighten up an otherwise dead corner, to create borders on an entryway. And experiment with lots of different grasses. Your yard will thank you for it.

Just when you thought all the political talk was over, Philadelphia is having an election for mayor!  Yep, 2007.  And it promises to be a good one.

My candidate of choice?  Michael Nutter.  You can read a recent article about him here or visit his website here.

The year is wrapping up and there are lots of things to think about.

Me?  I saw this today and it gave me pause to think.  My brother is on similar sub and I worry about him constantly when he’s out to sea.  It is a dangerous job.

I also think it’s fitting to take a minute during the holidays and remember the 2993 families who have lost soldiers in Iraq.  No matter what your political leanings are, that number is staggering.  And for those of us who have family members who have served in the first Gulf War or are serving in the military now, it’s a chilling reminder of how lucky we are to have our loved ones safe.

And for all of us who sat around a table this year with our own families, I hope you remember how blessed you are.  More than 1200 children have lost a parent in the Iraq war as of April 2006 - before the bloodiest months in the war’s history (I saw on one of those news magazines like 20/20 or Dateline that it’s more than 1500 now, but I can’t substantiate that).  There aren’t 1200 children in my daughter’s entire school.

A little melancholy this evening, for sure.  But I don’t want us to forget stats like this.  They tell the real story about the war.  I can’t imagine looking my children in the eye and telling them that Daddy isn’t coming home.  I am glad that I don’t have to.

And for my brother’s family and thousands of other military families across the country, my thoughts and prayers are with you.  Happy Holidays, be safe and God bless us, every one.

It’s true.  I’ve been at a little domain mapping.  Some of you might have noticed and fixed your links/bookmarks/toolbars accordingly.  But if you haven’t, make it your New Year’s Resolution to change all of those things to http://www.lawmummy.com instead of the typepad/blah-blah-blah string.  I’ve remapped everything to point to lawmummy.com - as opposed to a forward - so all of the search features, etc., should key off of that.  Simple and easy, like Lindsay Lohan (sorry, couldn’t resist).

Merci!

And I do know how to count to five.  It’s just that I’m tired, and it’s the holidays.  I have a lot of screaming children buried in piles of gift wrap and boxes.  I have ponies with hair brushes and accessories lounging on my living room floor.  I am tripping over doll diapers (don’t even get me started, those marketing geniuses).  And I had just had a Moscow mule, my drink du jour, before I wrote the post (lest you freak out, I wrote it last night and posted this morning - things aren’t so bad that I’m drinking at 6 am).

Or maybe I’m just being original and carefree, spitting in the wind at convention.

Or maybe I really can’t count.

You decide.  At any rate, a meme’s a meme (see a pattern here of late?) and I am sticking with the tags that I posted.

I’ve been tagged for a meme.  And this one, it’s a toughy.  I’ve been tagged by Bethany (the chain was as follows:  Charlene was tagged by City Mama who was invited by Lisa Stone) to name five things that you don’t yet know about me.  Hmm, I’m a pretty open book these days.  So let me think.

1. I walked away in the middle of a JV cheerleader audition when I was guaranteed a spot, mostly because I really decided that I didn’t like the rest of the cheerleaders.  Even though I wanted to be one.  A cheerleader?  Me.  Yes.  And I had feathered hair (ee-yewww!).
2. I do not own a single diamond.
3. I can play the trombone.  I took it up in Music Class in college when I was training to be a teacher, mainly because nobody else wanted to play it.  I can also play the flute, though my mother thinks it’s the clarinet.
4. When I was in college, I used to frequent a country bar where I line-danced and rode a mechanical bull.  My drink of choice at said bar was Michelob Light (I can hear Chris shudder from here).
5. I was once kicked out of the Trump Taj Mahal for not wearing any shoes.  The ones I had worn initially hurt my feet, I switched with a friend and then got separated.  And clearly I had been drinking.

So, now it’s my turn to tag five folks.  Here goes:  Madeline.  APL.   Jackie.  CCW.  Blythe.  Sheryl.  You’re all it.

A friend explained that her grandmother begins her insults this way.  This came out in a discussion about those relatives we know - and we all know them - who feel the need to point out things that really don’t need to be pointed out.  You know what I mean.  That your house needs to be cleaned.  That you need to lose weight.  That your sister is prettier.  Those kind of things.

What ever gives any person the idea that this stuff needs to be said out loud?  It’s not, as my husband suggested, trying to be helpful.  It’s being rude.

I’ve posted about this before as it applies to parenting, this spouting off of unsolicited "advice."  Once more, with feeling, it’s not advice, it’s an insult.

Not sure what the difference is?  Let’s look at a few examples:

1.  "LOOK OUT!  There’s a bus headed right at you!"  That’s advice.  It’s helpful.  It’s something that might be useful to know.
2.  "Your ass looks fat in those pants."  That’s an insult.  It’s not helpful.  It’s rude.  Keep it to yourself.
3.  "The bridge is out ahead.  Turn around."  Again, advice.  Helpful.
4.  "Men don’t like you because you’re too bossy."  Not helpful.  Not advice.  Should not come out of your mouth.

This disease, this compulsion to say rude things to people in the name of "being helpful" seems to worsen around the holidays.  Maybe it’s the booze.  Maybe it’s the exhaustion.  Maybe it’s the giddy feeling of being around people that you haven’t seen in ages.  Whatever it is, it seems to empower people to just say whatever comes to mind.

So, I’ll give you some advice:  keep your mouth shut.  I am not sure what you think you’re accomplishing by telling me things that I already know.  I know that I am not a quiet girl.  I am not dainty.  I am not skinny.  I am chatty.  I am smart.  I don’t wear make-up and I don’t sparkle.  I am well aware of these things.  You need not say it out loud.  And you know what?  The things that I like about me, I’m not changing.  And the things that I don’t like about me?  Hearing them from you won’t make them go away.  Especially if you’re my long-lost cousin who I might see once a year.  Or the random woman in Strawbridge’s.  Or an acquaintance that I see on the train.

If I want to know something, I’ll ask.  I’ll ask someone whose opinion I actually trust and/or admire.  But you?  Random relative/stranger/acquaintance/office co-worker/retail clerk/bus driver/neighbor?  If you want to make conversation, let’s talk about sports (Go Eagles) or the weather (turning cold these days).  I can wax on about tax for hours.  I’ll even talk about religion or politics - I don’t have any rules about talking about that stuff.  Ask me what my favorite movie is (Roman Holiday), my favorite drink (currently a Moscow Mule) or what I’d do if I wasn’t a lawyer (write).  Or ask me about my family.

That other stuff?  The insults?  That’s not conversation.  It’s hurtful.  It’s the kind of stuff that, as my friend Suzanne said, just makes me want to have a drink - and not in a good way.

So, if you find yourself wondering if you should say something, it’s probably a sign that you shouldn’t.

Yesterday, there was so much velour in my living room, it looked like J-Lo’s closet exploded.  My daughters now have more velour tracksuits (though thankfully, none with "Juicy" or any other such nonsense across the butt which I find inappropriate) than all of the mall-walkers in suburbia and little old ladies in Northeast Philadelphia combined.  It is the year of the leisure suit.  Pink ones, purple ones, red ones.  With butterflies, stars and other embellishments.  The girls, however, love them, and who am I to deny them the chance to be as tacky as they want to be?

After the tides of wrapping paper subsided and the girls were happily playing with their favorite gifts among many (coloring books and crayons were tops, thank you very much, as well as tights and pajamas), Chris and I surveyed the living room in horror:  how did this happen?  There were toys and clips and crayons and stuffed animals as far as the eye could see.  And with a little bit of guilt, but much more in the way of trying to create some normalcy, we started culling gifts - those that were not age appropriate, those that would break immediately if opened, those that were repeats - for the charity box.  I would not take them back to the store for exchanges.  The girls (and Charlie) did not need more toys.

I cannot imagine the scenes played out at other houses across the globe.  You see, I think we’re pretty tight with Christmas gifts as compared to many of our friends.  It has never been an occasion at our house to otherwise bankrupt ourselves for each other or for the children.  I want them to enjoy the holidays and have fun but not to get so wrapped up (pun totally intended) in this idea of me, me, me and getting things.  They are fortunate to have so many people who love them and are happy to buy them presents.  But I don’t want them to think that the holidays are just about presents.  Or to expect lots of presents that they won’t appreciate in a week or two.  They are already growing up in this wacky world of extreme consumerism and I don’t want them to think it’s at all normal to have so many presents on one day that you can’t walk a straight line.  It is not.

And while I felt a twinge of guilt that folks had spent money on my children on things that I was now giving away, it quickly passed.  I thought to my friend who has a room (yes, an entire room) filled with unopened presents largely stemming from the "battle of the grandparents"  for birthdays, holidays and other random occasions and I thought that showed no more appreciation for the gifts.  At least this way, some other children who were not as fortunate as my kids could benefit from the generosity of my friends and family.  So we oohed and ahhed over things as I quickly sifted through the packages.  I then went upstairs as Chris played with the girls and organized closets, taking out clothes beyond repair and tossing them into the garbage and carefully looking over clothes that were too small to see if they were suitable for donation. 

And if you’re giving away clothing or toys, which I highly encourage you to do, think for a minute.  Would you want your kids to have that item?  Is it clean enough?  Is it wearable?  Is it a game or puzzle with all of the pieces?  If you can’t say no, then throw it away.  People who are poor are not stupid or desperate, they’re just hard on their luck.  Don’t treat them as throw-aways.  Take this from a little girl who once wore charity socks with holes in them to a school play and was wildly embarrassed when singled out by the principal.  It is not a good feeling to know that you can’t afford nice things.

Before the holidays, I took the girls shopping - and let them help choose presents - for our holiday Secret Santa family at church.  I wanted them to understand before the morass of presents hit our house that not everyone is as lucky as we are.  If they take that with them when they get older, this feeling that my mother instilled in me that no matter what your circumstances, you can always give to someone else, then I’ll feel as though I did good as a mom.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the holidays.  Have a cup of tea (a martini will also do) and hug those around you.  And remember when the bows are gone, and the paper has been thrown away (or carefully collected and folded for reuse next year - you know who you are), the holidays really are about taking a moment to think about what - and who - is important to you. 

Yep, it’s Christmastime in the big city.  So, today’s top ten is my list of my top reasons to live in the City at Christmastime:

1. It’s 44 degrees outside.  A little on the warm side for Christmas, but not bad.  Christmas should never be in weather that’s 60 degrees or above.  Sorry, Florida.
2. Everyone has their lights up.  In a neighborhood with this dense a population, that means that it’s brilliant.  Brilliant.
3. Today, we watched Giada DiLaurentis on FoodTV.  Tomorrow, we go to the Italian Market to make the same things - that’s right, we have an Italian Market.
4. New Years is less than a week away.  That means Mummers!
5. Cookies on my doorstep today.  And ornaments yesterday.  And a slightly tipsy neighbor wished Chris a Merry Christmas.  Christmas spirit is everywhere!
6. Liberty Place looks beautiful.  And the Cira Center.  And City Hall.  And the Art Museum.  Need I go on?
7. Chris was making plans today to go to the RiverRink for outdoor ice skating.
8. We’ve been to the Wanamaker Light Show twice.  What a nice holiday tradition.
9. While I was out shopping, Chris and Katie were wandering through the woods "looking for treasure."  Those woods would be Fairmount Park, the largest municipal park in the world.  In the City.  Who says that cities aren’t green?  And beautiful?  And wild?
10. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES!!!